How To Help Your Children Cope With Rapid Change.
Happy Friday everyone. I say this with mixed emotions right now. This Sunday my family and I will celebrate Easter-Just the 4 of us. No cousins, no grandparents, no aunts, no uncles and we will still celebrate. Maybe we will do a Zoom get together. If I can get my parents to figure out how to do it. So,my husband put on his mask and went to the store to get Easter goodies so that we can do our best to keep things normal for our daughters. Our daughters are older so they understand more about what is going on but like everyone else, they are in shock and disbelief that this is happening right now in the world. So, it is more of a surface understanding. No need to go deeper into it right now with them. For parents of little ones, I remember what was like to have to tell my girls they couldn’t do something that they REALLY wanted to do. It was really hard to look into those big beautiful blue eyes and not give in to their request especially when I heard “Pleeeeaase.”
May 9th is that day that our oldest daughter should have walked in her college graduation ceremony and sadly it will be “virtual” this year. We will do our best to celebrate--Just the 4 of us. Maybe, our family members will take the 2 hour ride to “drive by” with signs congratulating her. Maybe we will have a Zoom party to celebrate. But it will not be the same. Now, she is 21 so, she will smile and say “Thank you!” and thoroughly appreciate everyone’s efforts but she will be disappointed. So, how do we, as parents, deal with this disappointment of even us as human beings? How do I as a parent empathize with my 13 yr old being upset because she cannot see her friends when things are so crazy on such an incomprehensible level? I know this is a heavy subject but, I believe it’s one that ALL of us could use some guidance on right now. So, hopefully this information will help ease the feeling of disappointment.
Here are some tips that might help.
Be honest. Let your child know why he/she cannot go to the park. However, reassure your child that the adults are working hard to ensure everyone’s safety and good health (Girl Scouts of America).
Acknowledge their disappointment. Acknowledge the fact that your child is sad because he or she cannot go to the park and play with their friends or much anticipated vacations plans have to be delayed indefinitely. Validate the emotions your child might be having whether it’s anger, sadness, frustration. Give them the words to use and let them know that you are empathetic to how they are feeling and that you might have those feelings as well (Nationwide Children’s Hospital).
Lastly, you want to encourage your child to find other ways to experience these events using “outside the box” thinking. Such as putting on a dance recital video to send to family members or have a watch party on Facebook or have a movie night with their friends using the website “Netflix Party” , or even making signs for family members for birthdays and driving by to celebrate.
All in all, I hope that these couple of tips can help you and your child get through these difficult times.
Sources
Dempster, Nicole. “COVID-19: How to Help Kids Deal With School Closings and Cancelled Plans.” 700 Children's Blog, 13 Mar. 2020, https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/family-resources-education/700childrens/2020/03/school-closings-cancelled-plans.
“Help Kids Cope with Disappointment in the Face of COVID-19.” American Girl Scouts, 19 Mar. 2020, https://www.girlscouts.org/en/raising-girls/happy-and-healthy/happy/disappointment-everything-canceled-coronavirus.html.